conditional love

where am I heading. i was doing so well. i was happy, i felt like i needed nothing else except for the love of a woman, but i am not so sure there is love on that other side anymore. what i feel now is hallow. the door has been shut in my face by someone i was so intimate with so recently. did i eat the apple, did i put myself in this hell, or was love always conditional? is it my own fault for believing her, giving in. i feel like when we first met she reeled me in. i was looking for the bait and i took it. from there things got more serious, but i should have seen it coming. i ignored her when she said that "there are users in this world, but you will not listen because you want it so bad", it seems like i was being set up from the start. i had no stretegy here, this was pure emotion, pure walk into the unknown for me. i didn't ask, i gave, but that's the price we pay for going in blind/signing the deed without reading it in full. I am still in love, but i just don't think she is anymore, but rather tired of old things and ready to throw them away. i am angry yes, and it is a driving force, and i want revenge, but that is better reserved for adversaries, not lovers; instead i just hope i am not decieved again and find love that can survive obstacles like what i am currently facing.